how come it’s cool for snakes to spit venom and unhinge their jaw to swallow people whole, but when i do it, i’m the “antichrist” and i need an “exorcism”?
so my history teacher made a twitter and always gives us updates on it in class and the other day e announced that he reached 100 followers so this kid pulled out his phone and said WELL GUESS WHAT IM UNFOLLOWING YOU HAHA BACK TO 99 and unfollowed him so my teacher leaned in really close to him and said “i’ve got 99 followers but a bitch ain’t one”
WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND
When I was a kid I would be like “ew boys” and my mom would say “darling, some day you’ll like boys” but congratulations mom I’m a lesbian so ew boys
"for every hour you spend in class, you should be spending three hours studying" how bout i take a nap instead